The rewards should not be expensive since this would just add to their financial pressures.I gave
them some examples of rewards like a back rub, a foot massage, listening together to
a favorite song, a walk together holding hands, breakfast in bed, biking to a sandwich
shop together for lunch.I explained that the sooner they can share their rewards after they
finish their talk, the easier it is to experience pleasure as part of their conversation.Ken
agreed to give Jen a foot massage at the end of their talk.Jen agreed to
listen with Ken to one of his favorite songs from when they were dating: Kenny
Rogers and Dolly Parton singing "Islands in the Stream."After their money conversation, which went surprisingly
well, they said that the expectation of giving rewards to each other made it a
positive experience and gave them something to bring them together right away after they talked.Dr
Doug Welpton is a Harvard trained psychiatrist with forty years experience counseling individuals and couples.
I explained to them Zapatillas Puma that each step they accomplished would add to their success and
make their discussions easier.I told them not to expect to accomplish all twelve steps immediately.
They are ardent Yankees and Giants fans.He keeps a tab at the bar so his
expenses don't show up on their credit card. Financial hard times are putting pressure on
marriages.Because of layoffs, credit card debts, and foreclosures couples are fighting over money.Three out of
every four couples argue about their finances according to a Harris survey.Financial infidelity, or cheating
with your joint money, is rampant.It happens whenever you spend and are not honest about
it with your spouse.It occurs in one-third of marriages.Jen likes to dress well.She buys dresses
and shoes when she feels low to pick up her spirits.She hides the dresses in
the back of her closet and the shoes on a high shelf where Ken will
not see them. Jen and Ken called for counseling when they saw their marriage slipping
away.Both of them had been through a previous requin tn divorce, and they did not want to
repeat that pain, especially with their children.They knew that financial infidelity is a leading cause
of divorce.We focused on helping them have successful discussions about money.We used the twelve Step
Connecting Conversation from the free ebook available from my websites. Periodically he pays his tab
with cash.On occasions Ken makes bets with his buddies on the games.He doesn't talk about
his betting with Jen.He knows she would be furious when he loses, and he loses
as much as he wins.Stealth spending is an example of how easy it is to
commit financial infidelity.Both Ken and Jen are stealth spenders.Stealth spending is growing as spouses are
hiding their purchases from one another-the rate was 18% in 2008 and is now reported
by Pay Pal at 23% in January, 2009.Jen and Ken have tried to avoid fighting
with each other by not discussing their spending.Avoidance is a short term measure that has
backfired.Periodically Ken added up what Jen had spent.He yelled at her for spending too much
on her clothes.She felt resentful and controlled by him.Sometimes she spent right afterwards just to
get back at him by revenge spending.Both Jen and Ken knew they needed to talk
about money, but they didn't know how.They did not have helpful models from their parents.
Jen spreads out her purchases to keep Ken from getting angry when he sees them
on their credit card bill.She avoids talking with Ken when the credit card bill arrives.Ken
likes to watch ballgames at the bar with his buddies. Expecting a quick fix would
just set up an expectation that could lead to their discouragement.We started on the first
step: for them to give each other a reward for having their talk.Sharing these rewards
would add pleasure to their money discussion instead of feeling just conflict and pain. He
reveals his proven twelve step method to stop financial infidelity is his free ebook which
is available at: For added information including radio shows, newspaper articles, internet articles, blog see:
http://www.adviceinloverelationship.com..
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